Rethinking Church - Matt Beckenham

I was asked this week, “Is it imperative that I go to church?”

Such an interesting question for me, and I’ve found myself processing my response ever since. It’s now just over three years since I pastored a church. From that time till now, I have not connected to another local church. I have gone to church many times, but none of these would I call my spiritual home. I have enjoyed the freedom that comes from sitting in a service and being free to sing, worship, and listen. I’ve loved talking with the people there, and in some of those times, I’ve slowly built relationships. But still, the desire to make one of these places some sort of spiritual home has not been there.

To the religious, they might respond to me with, “I should be there.” They will even quote verses of scripture that tell me I should not neglect meeting with my Christian brothers and sisters. Then, some will often stretch scripture past its breaking point and tell me I need a church to be my "spiritual covering."

As a pastor, I fully understand these thoughts and teachings. I was there. I had them. I convinced myself and others of the need to meet in a building and do everything a church should do.

Pastors need people to attend for many reasons. Some are beautiful, and others are because they need people to get stuff done. So much can be lost in the blurring of the motives behind the reasons. When the motive shifted, I could get so lost in the religion of it all—all the rights and wrongs. Duty could often overtake the desire, and outcomes could become more important than people.

Three years later, my idea of church is somewhat different, yet still somewhat the same. I still believe in the gathered community. It is a place for friendship, love, life, learning, worship, and growing. Without it, I would be flying solo; I would only ever see what I could perceive. Sooner or later, I would become a vacuum of information only filtered through one lens.

The church was meant to gather. But how it was to gather is a bigger conversation for me. Up until three years ago, there was really only one model I inherited. So, in the COVID years, I got curious: Maybe there is another way. And maybe the Bible will help me see it. Jesus was quick to help the disciples redefine their beliefs through love. It took three years to see the fruit of this. But even further back, the Bible talks about healthy relationships in the way that “iron sharpens iron.” Or in other words, our friendships are places of strength and growth. This is a powerful metaphor, and it helps me see those around me who “sharpen me.” Those who are close enough to my heart to see me. Those who build and not criticise. These are the ones who don’t need to use a phrase like “I’m telling you this in love;” they just love. They have taken the time to hear my story and discover my character. They are intentional and not occasional. They are present, and they connected to me. In these relationships, I find the “church.”

It is not an exclusive club I keep others out of. The invitation of my life is to love as I have been loved and to meet people where they are. This “church” of people is fluid. It changes, moves, grows, cares, and loves. It is organic, and it is unhurried. It is a beautiful space of creativity, where the words of heaven can be relayed through a heart of one who is created in His image. It responds to the rhythms of love Jesus invited us into, and it begins and ends in rest. Deep within those rhythms, hiding in plain sight, are all the expression of love we can imagine. Forgiveness, grace, mercy, peace and joy, all take form and lead me to encounter more of this great love.

There is no striving. No condemnation, and no comparison. All of these are found so often in our culture. But in this "church," a new culture is emerging. One that is ancient, but feels so very new. Shame cannot survice where authentity, intimiacy and safety abound. The Bible speaks of fear fleeing before love. Can you imagine a love that leaves no room for fear or shame any air to breathe?

It is a different paradigm from what I have known, and I am still getting used to it. Here, I am learning to love, to heal, and to listen. I am learning the power of presence. I am sure these can all be found and nurtured in a traditional model of church, and you might have found such places. But, for me, I seek to explore an ever-expanding Kingdom that Jesus has given us in new and curious ways. He has done this, not through laws or religion, but by love, and by His Spirit. He once said, “It won’t matter where you worship. Only that you do it in spirit and in truth.” These are words that always spoke to me. Now, I can explore them with those who are willing to be as curious as I am.

So, if anything is imperitive, it is that I seek Jesus' Kingdom with those He has drawn to me.