Purpose or Presence - by Matt Beckenham

How many times have I been asked to help someone discover their purpose? How many times had they looked for someone with a closer link to God than theirs, in the attempt to uncover what they had only dreamed about? They believed that the more mature person would steer them along the right path. I have seen this work beautifully and poorly. When it worked it beautifully, it came from a place of deep relationship. A place where I was trusted with their story, their abilities, and their dreams. When it worked poorly, it often came from exactly the same place.

How can that be? Well, that's the easy answer. Life isn't an easy three step plan to success. It's a complicated series of choices and decisions that cannot be replicated from one person's story to another. The theme, though, of both outcomes is "deep relationship." If that is there, then we can work at whatever of life presents itself with. But here's a thing I have discovered, "Deep relationship," does not happen with the goal of purpose. It happens when the start point is presence.

For years, we have learned in our churches the importance of purpose. Any church wanting to grow would often focus on helping you discover your purpose. The thought rang along the line that to discover your purpose was to discover your calling. That very thing that came from God that helped you do what you were designed to do. Courses have been run and books have been written to help us discover God's purpose for our lives. We would celebrate people who had found it or were able to say with authority what their purpose was.

Maybe, it's an age thing. Maybe, it looking back on my life and processing what worked and what didn't. But at the age of 55, this is what I discovered... presence is far more important than purpose.

Don't get me wrong, I think purpose is important. But, If we make it the most important thing , we will miss the very thing we have been designed and created to do... to love. Yep, that's it. If you've been following me for any length of time, this discovery will not come as a surprise. But after doing all the things, running all the programs, building the church, and helping people discover a relationship with God. The one thing that has captured me and cannot escape from is that God is love, and love is measured by presence. It is the very thing that broke my religious thinking. The very thing that healed my fractured heart and my burnt out mind and body. Love is far more than a word or feeling, it is a presence. To feel it, you must slow down to discover it. And each time I feel it, I want to tell you I slow down to experience it, but I don't. Sometimes I walk straight past it, other times I notice it long after the event. But I am a student of love, and now seek for it wherever I am. And where I am, is where I am invited to be present.

You see, you can say that you will love someone in the future. You can form up every plan of the days to come and desire for them to be love filled. But the power of that love will be found in the present. You can say that you love someone for their story and all they have been through in their past. But love will only be experienced in the present, as you see who they as you have listened to their story..

Maybe, this was what Jesus pointed us to, when he invited us to love others as he had loved us. He knew for us to feel loved, we had to be loved in the present. So, Jesus gave up heaven to come to earth and model a love that would be eternally treasured. He, above all others, knew this power of presence. And he, above all others, knew the transformative power that love held in that presence. He gave the disciples purpose, but it he did from deep times of presence with them.

The Apostle John understood this presence and power. In his letter, he wrote that this love would drive away fear. Fear is another power that can keep us from being present in the moment. It often drives us to the future and breeds anxiety within us. Or it takes us to the past and reminds us of shame and poor choices. John knew the antidote for fear was love. And not a love that was some future promised uptopia, but a love that could be encountered in the same moment that fear would try and steal.

For me, presence has become the doorway for purpose. I used to think that achieving my purpose would lead me to the mythical and promised "Promised Land." That place where life would make sense and my purpose would take me there. Let's just say, all this gave me, was the ability to be an excellent striver! Forever chasing a carrot that dangled in front of me. Only to find out that when I finally got the carrot, I didn't like carrots.

Presence changed my life. It allowed me to rest. It allowed me to love myself well. Being present with myself brought me to awareness. Awareness led me to love. Love helped me discover the fullness of God and the people around me. And it was there I found my purpose. It wasn't grandiose. It was lit with neon lights and it wasn't a yellow brick road that led me to OZ. It was simply love. To love and be loved. Its simplisty is striking and beautiful . Such a short phrase that Jesus would use to demonstrate the fulfilment of all the Old Testament laws and invite me live as he lived.

Some might say their purpose is to save souls, feed the poor, make the world a better place. And they are good and noble pursiuts. But let our works and words flow from presence with God.

May I love myself, my neighbours, and my God, more today than I did yesterday. And may the love I have today lead me to where I will be tomorrow. Once again, loving as I have been loved.

Matt