Praying different
If I find grace in your words, can I sit your table?
Listen to your stories, so that I may heal.
Theological debates have lost their flavour to me. Stories are where I find God in the lives of people. In essence, the Bible is God’s story, played out in the stories of people. Yet, for generations, we have looked to the Bible for our theologies of God. We glorify the people of the past, believing that they somehow, have been chosen way before us and are better than us. They were entrusted with a revelation that we could not possibly be given by God.
We take ancient writings, written in dead languages, and translate them into English. A language not known for its descriptive colour. We then declare that these English words are the words spoken by God, himself. Then we go even further and state which translation is godlier than all others. By naming one as godlier, we are judging the rest as inferior.
It doesn’t take long to see how far we have drifted from the stories of the people in the Bible, or the people at our tables. We have conjured an image of God that satisfies our teachings. Rarely leaving space for Him to be more than what we have been taught. We put boundaries around this description of God and create laws to enforce it. We have become more focused about sins and breaking these laws, and soon love becomes a memory. We find it easier to point out what is wrong, rather than notice what brings life.
Can we just take a deep breath?... Can we just stop? Can we value curiosity, rather than fear it?
How about we remind ourselves of some key thoughts?
I was made for Eden. Designed to walk with God in the cool of the evening. To enjoy the world that surrounds me, not fear it or fear doing something that would upset God. I was made to enjoy all I could see and love all that he made. A perfect place, with a perfect plan. How I wish I was taught this as a child, rather than taught to fear the God who created me. I was convinced I was born a sinner in this great story, and not in the image of my Creator.
Simply put… I was taught someone’s version of God, but I was not introduced to God.
The older I’ve got the more I’ve learned, and here are some of my thoughts. God is not a lesson that can be taught in a classroom. Love is not action that can be learned from a textbook. Grace is not an experience that can explained only in metaphors. Forgiveness is a power far more than words can explain, and mercy can only be felt when it is needed.
The ancients of the Bible discovered this and we, somehow, have been taught that is all the lessons we need. But if we cannot find these experiences in our lives, then how can we trust these lessons are real? What happens when you follow all the rules we can find in the Bible and still not come out with the same result we read in those pages? Doesn’t faith demand that we believe beyond what we have been taught or can see? Why would Jesus have spent three years with the disciples, if all he was going to leave us with is a "rinse and repeat" of all that had gone before him? He opened their minds. He showed them a Kingdom that had only been taught about. He helped the explore their curiosity and he did it all from a place of presence and friendship.
This is so different from the Jesus I learned about all those years ago. It was ingrained in me, when my prayers weren’t answered, this wasn’t a God problem, it was a “me” problem. Grace began to sound a lot like judgement. I was told I don’t believe or have enough faith. When that didn’t work it got darker… “You have a sin, you have not repented,” or “There must be a curse on your life.” And if that didn’t work, they found another level of darkness. We arrived at the devil being the cause of everything that causes your lack of results in your practices of prayer.
“My practices of prayer…”
Oh, how this has changed over the recent years. My prayers are no longer measured in length or time. They are not practiced or rehearsed. They happen in real time and in real relationship. I have discovered the art of a conversation with God. Not taught to me in church but discovered in creativity. I was not even looking for it, yet it found me. It is raw, honest and vulnerable. And each of these attributes have grown as I have explored creativity as a prayer.
A powerful connection to the God who created all I can see. I curious conversation where nothing is withheld and everything can be brought into the light. It was there I did not meet the God of my childhood and the one who was disappointed in me. I found a friend. I found grace and it has changed my life. The raw, the honest and the vulnerable all became markers of the language we share. What I have found has changed me. My eagerness to share, revealed His eagerness to answer.
With only English to work with, it became the tool of exploration. Could I find words that better described my thoughts and feelings? Could I use it to search the ancient languages and discover the depth of their interactions the ancients had with God?
So, what does my faith look like? What does it sound like? Can it be replicated? I smile as I write, because I have learned that faith is as unique as each person and each relationship. No two are the same. I have strived for so long to promote a model or a way to connect with God, when all along it is the Creator of the heavens and earth, who walks up to the individual and asks the most simple question: “What can I do for you?”
He starts the prayer. He invites us into a conversation that spans our lifetime and eternity. He loves before we can love. He creates a relationship before we can understand where it will take us. A union where you will never run out of things to say, but you might run out of words to describe it. Such is every relationship where love is held up as its supreme expression.
And here it is. The secret behind it all: God is love… and I am still catching up to a conversation that the Apostle John started so simply, nearly two thousand years ago, and now finding myself more curious than I have ever been. I have been invited to His table, which turns out to be my table, and we have a dialogue that feels a lot like healing.
Matt
If this makes you curious and sounds like some of your own thoughts, maybe mentoring might be helpful. If you'd like a free 20 minute chat on ways that Greater Things could help you, click the link 20 minute session and get in contact.
Visit our social accounts
Comments